18 January 2010

X, Y, and Other Genetic Variations

Warning: Gross exaggerations below, but there is some truth in any stereotype.

In ninth grade biology, I learned that a simple matter of the alphabet was the only genetic determinant of the sexes in humans. Namely, the fairer sex is homogametic and is thus identified by XX, while the brutes are heterogametic and are denoted by XY. Otherwise, there is no other genetic difference between the genders.

Observing Russian men and women strongly challenges this notion. Clearly, there must be other genetic variations at works; or, it must be concluded that Russian men and women come from different gene pools.

A Russian woman is slender, tall, yet strong. She projects great poise, but is capable of subtly telegraphing emotional fragility. She wears stylish clothes and is as comfortable in high-heels as she is in snow boots, and she uses both of them to conquer Moscow's icy streets, melting the snow with every step. Her skin is soft and glowing. Her hair is coiffured and styled. Basically, she is a subject of admiration. I know because I married one.

The Russian man is a stoic stump, has a horrid haircut, and a turnip-shaped torso with four protruding toothpick limbs. That's about it.

You may think I am making this up, but a little market data delivers the point home. Men's magazines, ranging from Playboy to Men's Fitness, have done notoriously poorly in this country. At the onset of perestroika, men's magazine publishes rushed in expecting a goldmine. Instead, they found an audience that was largely apathetic and deaf to their message. From the local man's perspective, there is no need for a skin mag like Playboy because - I am guessing - there are armies of Sharapovas walking the street and in-person is better than in-paper. And, there is no need for a self-improvement magazine like Men's Fitness because - I am still guessing - of the overabundance attractive members of the opposite sex; in other words, when it comes to love, Russian men have a buyer's market.

Women's magazines, like Cosmo, entered the Russian market after their men's counterparts. Publishers of men's magazines did all they could to dissuade their counterparts from making the same silly move, but the ladies were smarter. They entered the market and they made a killing. As it turns out, you cannot sell enough women's magazines in Moscow; just look at the variety in any newsstand.

If you still don't believe me, then observe below and believe your eyes. I tell you, there is more than X and Y genes to explain the difference between Russian men and women.

-- Hot --

-- Not --


  1. Amir! This is hilarious! And ALL TRUE!
    Hugs and hope you are not freezing without Vera in Moscow. :) Anna

  2. Amir,

    I'm not necessarily disputing your hypothesis, but I think that there ARE better-looking Russian men than, say, Little Nikita. Let's take Alexander Ovechkin, for example -- why, with a little creative dentistry, he would clean up just fine. Or, perhaps, the captain of the Red October -- yes, an older man, to be sure (as are some of us), but handsome in his own right, and surely in command of his ship.
    So, perhaps your sample size has been too small. Also, if I remember correctly, Olga Korbut was about 2' 2", so they're not all Amazons.
    At any rate, check to see if Vera has been wearing lifts. It's easy to miss when you're in love.
    Your Pompino,
    - Stuart

  3. Let me give you an explanation from the Russian side. Historically, there have always been fewer men, especially not drinking men, than women in Russia. After the World War II, there were only 9 men per each 10 women - and starting from that time Russian women have been trapped by the "better something than nothing" principle. Taking into account the importance of family to Russian women, any man counts. With this unfailing demand for any men in any condition, Russian men needn't care about their looks :)

    Tanya, DocTeam/behind the wall