Two Types of Russians

My (Russian) boss once said:  "There are two types of people in Russia.  There are those that do not know the difference between $1,000 and $1, and there are those that do.  The trouble is that only the people that do not know the difference have money to spend."

Those are wise words, especially since they are confirmed by this article in the NY Times.  Here are some telling quotes:

Time to Sell Penthouse. The Russians Have Cash.

...

The spending spree may just be warming up, given that $84 billion left Russia last year, with the Russian government estimating that up to 5 percent of that capital flight was being plowed into American real estate.
...
Jill Sloane, a broker with Halstead Property, said, “Everyone knows they are the ones with the big money right now.” She added that when she heard that the penthouse at 15 Central Park West had sold for $88 million, “I knew it had to be a Russian.”
...
Many of the Russians seem determined to make names for themselves as conspicuous consumers. After buying trophy apartments and houses, they often pour tens of millions of dollars more into remodeling projects by brand-name interior designers like Jacques Grange. They also collect rare art and commission one-of-a-kind yachts.
...
When the Russians shop for real estate, they tend not to dither, brokers said, and they seem to spend their fortunes as quickly as they made them.

Very Puzzling ...

This image comes by way of an advertisement in the Moscow Metro.  It makes me wonder ...

Why is Santa Claus, who lives in the North Pole, wearing a Mexican sombrero?  I mean, since when does the old man go to Cancun for spring break?  How does Dr. Hans Zarkov  from Flash Gordon fit into this epic story?  If Santa Claus in in Cancun, why isn't Zarkov in a Speedo or something provocatively disgusting befitting of the antagonist?  Who is the girl anyway, and why isn't she wearing a bikini?

This seems to have all the trappings of a classic B movie, which means that it must include a gratuitous sex scene.  The B movie girl always falls for the good guy at the end of the story, in this case Santa.  They will be making love on the Caribbean beach in the sun set ... but does the old man still have it in him?

\

The American-perspective B movie analysis aside, this musical is based on a Pushkin fairly tale about Lukomorye, "a country of fairy-tale magic, light and good, and a great, fabulous oak - a tree of life, with nourishing power of love and kindness for the living world and all humanity."  According to the legend, a once-in-a-millennium event breaths new, magical life into Lukomorye but, as with all good, evil forces attempt to stop it.  It is a classic good-versus-evil story set in a mystical, magical literary setting (versus a crass, sex-laden, action-packed Hollywood production intended to generate ROI by titillating a subsection of the masses).

Here is a dictionary translating Pushkin's magical characters into American B movie types:

• Oldman Borovichok - Santa Clause in a sombrero; he is a has-been that finds himself in an unusual situation and must make a comeback to save the day and prove that his manliness is still relevant.
• Koschey the Immortal (better translated as "Koschey the Lifeless") - Dr. Hans Zarkov; he is the handsome bad apple, and the character the audience must love to hate.
• Vasilisa the Wise - Semi-central, hot female character that injects the love angle into the story and over whom good and evil must fight.  She will show some skin at the end of the game (hint: a wave will blindside the innocent damsel by dampening her T-shirt as she is frolicking on the beach in the closing scene).

I hope this helps bridge the cultural gap.

Moscow Edges Out New York

Here is a December 2011 survey from The Economist ranking the world's most expensive cities.  Moscow still edges out New York, but a "bargain" compared to Zurich, Tokyo, and Oslo.  I am grateful, because it could be worse.

Be Grateful: It Could be Worse

Long ago, in the flat West Texas desert near the New Mexican border,  I was stuck in a rather frustrating in situation with a friend.  In a moment of calmness, he said:  "Always remember this when things are bad:  It could be worse."

The words of my friend, Nik, had a certain weight to them.  He was born in Yugoslavia in an ethnically mixed house.  He and his family relocated to Liberia - once a peaceful country - when Nik was young.  He then came to the US where he and I became classmates.  Nik's amazing power was being able to stay optimistic despite the anything that was happening in the current situation.  I suppose that this is a necessary skill when your parents, one a Serb and the other a Croat, find themselves in opposing sides of a civil war that ends up destroying the country you were born into. And, as it turns out, another civil war destroys the beautiful country of your youth.

Now, let's talk about the weather.  Last year, on this day, I complained about Russia's long winter.  Soon after my complaint, the sun came out, green shoots popped out, and spring came roaring in.  This year, the spring is delayed by just a bit more (by Moscow standards).  The weather forecast tells the story (left forecast is in Fahrenheit, right in Celsius).

Yup, snow is in the forecast for another week.  As Nik said, "it could be worse."  Let's be grateful that it is not.

Inflation Expectation?

Since my residency began in Moscow over two years ago, the US dollar - Russian ruble exchange rate has been relatively stable and within a 15% range.  This would be a wide and volatile range if currencies of developed economies were to be compared, but Russia is a developing economy, making this a tolerable range.

In the same time period, I have noticed a remarkably different attitude towards change.  Upon my arrival, the following coins were readily traded at most grocery stores:

• 10 kopeks (10% of ruble)
• 50 kopeks
• 1,2, and 5 ruble coins

Worth Something Sometime Ago

At the same time 10 ruble coins were just coming into existence while 10 ruble bills were just being phased out by the Russian central bank.  Attitudes towards Russian change are different now.  At least in downtown, kopek coins are almost never traded; 1 and 2 ruble coins seem to have taken their place as the minimally acceptable change.  Moreover, when I try to unload a pocket full of change, for example for a bottle of water or a metro ticket, my payment method is universally rejected.  Vendors, including those who act on behalf of the government, want to see as few coins as possible. 

In the same context, I noticed some retaliatory behavior by vendors.  I made a purchase today for 375 ruble.  I paid with a 500 ruble bill and included two 10 rouble coins and five 1 ruble coins, expecting a return of 150 rubles with one 100 ruble bill and one 50 ruble bill.  After having received the 100 ruble bill, I then received 50 roubles in combinations of 1 and 2 rouble coins.  It was as if I were being punished for having put forth the small change.

Comrade, I Ruined This Economy Long Ago

This stands in stark contract with my experience in Western Europe over the previous two weeks, where I spent three different currencies in four different countries.  The Brits and Swiss respect their coins and accept them without any question.  The Germans and French, despite having been through a euro-style roller coaster as of late, still honor their small change with dignity.  

It should also be pointed out that Western Europe has a rather modest inflation, compared to Russia's 8% inflation in 2011.  Perhaps, the attitude on Moscow's streets is reflective of expected inflation going forward, and the desire of getting rid of the small change indicative that the populace is gearing up for using larger denominations for smaller purchases.

Election Posturing

Putin touts nukes, urges US to be more positive

Given the upcoming election and Russia's host of internal problems, this maneuver focusing Russian's attention on an imagined foreign threat is understandable.

However, if the goal is to unlock Russia's potential to become world's third largest economy (discounting EU), investing in nuclear submarines is an extravagant waste.

From a foreign policy perspective, monitoring the ground in the mineral rich Mongolia and Kazakhstan and the influence of these countries' immediate neighbors should be of far more interest to Russia. And, as Al Qaeda has proven, Islamic fundamentalism is stateless, making it an international threat.

The Cold War is over. Investing in weaponry for this type of war scenario is investing in the past and losing sight of the future.

Biological Assumptions Challenged

Big cities, like New York, Houston, and LA, have their "healthy" share of bad drivers.  Sadly, Moscow is in the same league.  The trouble with Moscow is that its roads, because of their design and poor signage, inadvertently encourage bad driving.

I normally stay off of roads and strongly prefer riding Moscow excellent metro system, but my hand was forced this week due to special circumstances that necessitated my shuttling my daughter between two schools.  On Thursday, a massive snowstorm brought things to a head.  Traffic came to a crawl and erstwhile bad drivers became crazily bad drivers.

The mass behavior was absurd.  Individual drivers, in attempt to get to their destination slightly faster, inadvertently colluded in a clownish fashion and slow everyone down.  Some of the clownish acts included blocking the intersections, dangerously cutting off fellow drivers, and swerving recklessly through the traffic on the very slippery roads.  And, as it happens, the more expensive the car, the more offensive the driver tended to be.

Car Sucks; Driver is Good

The poor guy in his Lada drives better than the jerk in his expensive Mercedes.  My guess is that the poor guy in his Lada is literally poor; he cannot afford a car wreck.  The boor in the Mercedes is not poor and a dent on his or anyone else's car means little to him.  To put it simply, there is a higher probability that the Benz driver is - ahem - an asshole.

New Car Smell?  No, It's the A**hole Inside.

Therein lays the biological challenge.  Simple human anatomy would dictate that there is a one-to-one relationship between number of people and sphincters for any given road mile, no matter how congested that mile may be.  In other words, the s-to-h ratio should always be 1.  As it turns out, the more congested the road gets, the bigger the s-to-h ratio gets.  Get stuck in Moscow's downtown traffic during a snowstorm and it becomes abundantly clear that there are a plump many more assholes than people running around on that mile.

This Does Not Make Me Miss the US

Frozen Shampoo Does Not Flow

In December and for the most part of January, I was fretting about Moscow's unusually warm winter.  Based on folklore, the erstwhile November weather was getting extended well into January.

Luckily, Ded Moroz (Дед Мороз) has arrived and he has brought the winter weather with him with full fury.  Days have been getting colder steadily.  Tomorrow's high is projected to be -18 C - or 0 Fahrenheit for English units fans.  The low is projected to reach -28 C (-18 F).

This may sound cold to most people but, in reality, everything below -10C feels pretty much the same.  This is because it gets so cold that you stop feeling.  A nice numbness sets in, pain goes away, and the merits of life in a freezer box become ice-crystal clear.

Ice not Nice in Shampoo

In any case, there was a new one in the department of new experiences today.  As usual, after dropping my children off at school, I went for a workout in the local gym,  and then took a shower. Unusually, however, I realized that I could not use my shampoo.  It had frozen.  Frozen shampoo does not flow.

Russia's Darkest Days

Winter Solstice, defined by when the sun reaches its southernmost extreme on earth's horizon, is on December 22.  The further north one is, the shorter the length of the day.  For fans of starlight tanning, the lengthy nights are excellent times and Murmansk is the place to be.  Here is a sampling of sunrise and sunset schedules in three Russian cities:

	Sunrise	Sunset	Day Length	Night Length
Moscow	9:58 am	4:58 pm	7:00:17	16:59:43
St. Petersburg	11:00 am	4:54 pm	5:53:46	18:06:14
Murmansk	What?	Perpetual	00:00:00	24:00:00

High Noon at OK Corral 

By comparison, Miami, Florida has over 10:30 hours of sunlight on the same day.

Ah, Russia's darkest days, and I bet you thought that I was going to talk about other current affairs!

Next topics:  Blowing hot air and smoke.  Never mind; I already covered it here, here, and here.